fauxyshazam:

"if you’re straight and white tumblr will lynch you~"

fun fact!! there are actual places in the real irl world today (2014!) where if you are anything other than straight and white you will actually get lynched! literally! they will literally kill you!! isn’t that wild??

dogsenthusiast:

in me mums uterus…… womb womb

lasagna-delrey:

a b c d e f g h i j ayylmao p q r s t u v w x y z

comcasting:

My grandpa texted for the first time in his life today and he spit straight wisdom out of the keyboard

cosmo sex tip #669

raynarvaezjunior:

when you grab his shaft, yell “pull the lever kronk”

"Be with someone who meets you half way. Be with someone who brings you a glass a water when they get themselves one. Be with someone who makes sure you don’t endure bad moments by yourself. Be with someone your ex hates and your mother loves. Be with someone who alters you, not changes who you are. Spend your life with your better half, not your other half."
August XXVIII (via bonvivantx)

foulmouthedliberty:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.

this is real

unleashthedragonfleet:

image

Don’t be upsetti, have some spaghetti

hurpadootdoot:

romeoisadick:

inbox:

inbox:

in Canada they don’t pronounce Z as "zee"

they pronounce it as "zed" and that is crazy to me

it sounds like they made a typo when they invented it

They do that everywhere in the world that’s not America. We do that here in the UK too.
America is weird man.

dangerouspoetry:

"While I agree with your point, Josephine, capitalism is an unjust ideal and it won’t work anymore"